Below are the 14 most recent journal entries recorded in freak's LiveJournal:

Thursday, March 22nd, 2007
2:41 am	urm.... wow..... i haven't been on this site in a long, long time. haha. i just clicked a link sent by a friend, and banm, back to lj. well, i'm not one for diaries, but hey, its amusing to think that this highly impersonal computer could be connecting me to some of my closest friends. who needs skin when you have wires, huh. i should be working on ap bio..... though for the past 3.5 hrs i've been doing other, non hmwk stuff.... even though huge test on stuff i don;t understand tommorw, and some biotech conclusions possibly due. oh well. . and yay for realizations about self! well, more like "coming out of denial", but still! knowing which disorder it is, and knowing that it really is one (98% sure), is a good thing for me (and making sure its not just me who is fucked up, in a sense of not just a disorder, if that makes any sense at all). it just explains so much..... like the fact that i haven't felt the need to sleep in the past 2.5 weeks, and haven;t slept at all for what is this, the 2nd or 3rd night running? i hope no one reads this shit. haha. and just in case, nothing important or even relivant will go here.... if you want to kno, ask me in person. Current Music: old school - freestyle project - don't stop the rock (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 20th, 2006
1:34 pm	Wondercon yes..... i will be putting together a group to go to wondercon if i possibly can!!! i know its not till march....shut up! hehe. INFO: WonderCon March 2-4 in SF hopefully DP will be there. yayness. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 16th, 2006
9:54 pm	oh my. wait, was that spring break???? i thought, you kno, there would be a BREAK involved. lol, shows how much i kno. at least i did something worthwhile to society. i build a house for a family who owned nothing but a small plot of land, and i played with cute/scrubby mexican children whom i couldn't understand a word of what they were saying. but still good, except for all the dirt and the fact that you have to be really careful about getting water on anything that you could possibly eat. then easter, and now it's hmwk time.... where did it go! all i know is that i need more time.... this time for an actual break maybe. or how about another round of rpg? hehe. Current Music: Reganald - Raize the Stray (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006
7:32 pm	rpg yay for rpg!!!!!! once more....... three cheers for the geekiest (and most fun) thing ever! thanks guys Current Music: painted by numbers - the sounds (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 25th, 2006
10:49 pm	well, one of my geratest fears has come to pass, and if you know me, you will my be horrified, but then again, you may have seen it coming. oh well. i will just have to suck it up and work that much harder. but fuck... my dad can't even yell at me anymore. shit, that should tell you how much i failed. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 28th, 2006
8:31 pm	sure, why not don't know what i want to say, other then i am right and royaly screwed. i have definetly fucked up bad this time. but somehow.... i just can't muster up enough feeling to care..... although panic comes close. i know things will end up sorted out. i just want it to be for the best. i need it to be a certain way. (not gunna happen) problem is, going back, i know what i should have done. i dunno if i could have done what was needed. even now, i just don't know i did what made me happy, made me feel something other then distate. and i hate how i am sounding now.... so emo... so ... "oh no! my life is crap! woe is me" i hate emo kids. they annoy the shit out of me. i hate to sound like one oh my. this post is going to shit. and i forgot to get those quotes. haha, story of my life. i'm going now. i really want to go to sleep. really want to go back to sleep Current Mood: guilty Current Music: every day is exactly the same - NIN (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 9th, 2006
11:36 pm	ok well, i don't really want to talk about my christmas or new years, other then to say they happened, were fine, nothing bad, but nothing outstandingly amazing. meh. w/e. i didn't make any new years resolutions... well, i tried, but gave it up in about 5 minutes b/c i relized i would never keep them, they have to happen naturally. school starts tommorw, not looking forward to it. i was a bad girl and didn't really do the homework i was supposed to. i'm trying to work on it now, but its just not coming. oh well. movies i am going to see soon, if you want to come with, just let me kno. 1. tristan and isolde 2. underworld evolution 3. cassanova and heres something random i found about 2005. felt like doing it... procrastination ya kno? 1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? quite a bit. started high school, a bunch of shit i am glad about, a bunch that i regret, ya... stuff? 2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? i've resolved to not make them... see above. basically, it has to just happen... bad at forcing myself to do stuff... need to work on that. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? nope 4. Did anyone close to you die? not really close..... friend of a friend 5. What countries did you visit? iceland 6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? motivation 7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory? moments from swim season, prom, sister stuff, random moments stolen away from ppl 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? conquering my mind 9. What was your biggest failure? well, to my parents it would be that i had a B.... to me, well, nothing you need to know about 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? sickness... not much 11. What was the best thing you bought? urm.....dunno 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? jenny sim 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? sister 14. Where did most of your money go? friends. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? seeing my menlo friends!!!! of course! 16. What song/album will always remind you of 2005? haha, well, of freshamn year in general, honest mistake by the bravery. 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? sadder, i think? i dunno. 18. What do you wish you'd done more of? have fun 19. What do you wish you'd done less of? confiding in ppl 20. How will you be spending Christmas? family stuff. as always 22. Did you fall in love in 2005? *blink*blink* 24. What was your favorite TV program? Daily Show ... john stewart 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? i never really hate anyone... its to akin to love... the whole strong emotion thing. yea 26. What was the best book you read? can't say..... too many awsome ones. if you know me... you know that i read WAY to much 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? techno. oooo wait... techno/german. teh whole funker vogt stuff. 28. What did you want and get? some good books =P 29. What did you want and not get? a lot of stuff.... oh well 30. What was your favorite film of this year? hrm... well, boondock saints is fav movie... but its not of this year.... so i guess sin city? or pride and prejuduce?didn't really see many movies last year 31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? at 1 in the morning i convinced someone not to kill themselves..... i think thats an accomplishment. 32. What was one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? if things had worked out.... or if my sister had matured at all 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? i wear what i feel like. 34. What kept you sane? sane? whats that? 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you like the most? ???? like celeberties? huh? 36. What political issue stirred you the most? bush..... that fucking monkey 37. Who did you miss? menlo ppl 38. Who was the best new person you met? andrea 39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005. be careful... trust is a gift not lightly given, 40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year? urg... too many, too many! can i do this one later? like in the next post or something? . (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 20th, 2005
4:48 pm	looking forward to tommorw, not b/c of the finals (although they are the easiest and i already have my poem memorized for english), but b/c i get to go see my friends. the Menlo ones! yayness. after school, i'm gunna get my butt to the train station and get off at the stop that i did for 3 years (danm that feels like a long time ago... but really only a year and a half). then walk to menlo school and meet up with peeps. seriously though, this is the thing getting me throuh finals.... and its finally here! (almost). its doubly wonderful b/c i get to get out of the house, away from parents and stupid siblings, and stay away for a few days... b/c i am definetly not going home until at least thursday night. hehe. it really is too bad that i'm too tired to be properly excited about going back to menlo for a bit. oh well, not too much studying to be done tonight, just waterpolo. 24 days until Tristan and Isolde. =D [i really want to put the pic here... but stupid lj wont let me..... grrrr] Current Mood: mellow Current Music: Amerika - Rammstein (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 19th, 2005
1:00 am	study i have the worst work ethic ever. of anyone i kno. and i have two finals that detarmine my grade in a few hours. bleh Current Mood: lazy Current Music: open your eyes - Guano Apes (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 18th, 2005
12:27 pm	yay. the one thing i am erally looking forward to is in 26 days. and if you don't know what it is i shoul burn you... cleave you with my sword THEN burn you/blow you up. but i will tell you anyway. Tristn and Isolde!!!!! they decided to make a movie out of my favorite story from history, and it had better be good! it comes out on January 13 (friday the 13th.... hehe) and you can expect to see me in the first theatre that is playing it... i don't care what time! screw school.... i'm seeing this movie! and i really do hate finals. all of them this year are hard... i mean, even the easiest one becomes crazy b/c they are all opinion based questions! and i also have 89%. b/c none of my teachers will round..... ms. bunch's idea is that my 89.97% was a B. arg. pissy. so with my 3 or so 89%.. .my grade rests upon how i do on my final... and these are classes that i do notoriously bad on tests...... how.... delightfull. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: Sandman - Metallica (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 15th, 2005
1:09 am	wow. its just after 1 and i reall don't want to do more chem..... so i decided i'd take a break and take this little thing....... no, this wasn't my idea; i promised a friend. ;) ( ) smoked a cigarette ( ) smoked a cigar ( ) smoked anything else ( ) made out with a member of the same sex (x) been in love (not really sure anymore) (x) been dumped (sort of... rejected is more like it) (x) shoplifted ( ) been fired (x) been in a fist fight (x) snuck out of parent's house (x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back ( ) been arrested ( ) made out with a stranger ( ) gone on a blind date (x) lied to a friend ( ) had a crush on a teacher (x) skipped school ( ) slept with a co-worker ( ) seen someone die ( ) had/have a crush on one of your MYSPACE friends. (myspace is over rated...) ( ) been to Mexico (x) been to Europe (x) been on a plane ( ) thrown up in a bar (x) eaten Sushi ( ) been snowboarding (ski people rock!) ( ) crashed and burned snowboarding (x) been moshed at a concert ( ) been in an abusive relationship (x) taken painkillers (......) ( ) love someone right now (x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by (x) made a snow angel.... (hell yea!) (x) flown a kite (x) built a sand castle (x) gone puddle jumping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (x) played dress up (ren fairs rock!! so do dickens fairs.... and yea) (x) jumped into a pile of leaves (x) gone sledding (x) cheated while playing a game (of course not! how could you say such a thing =P ) (x) been lonely (x) fallen asleep at work/school ( ) used a fake ID (x) watched the sun set (x) felt an earthquake (x) touched a snake (x) been tickled (way too much... i hate you guys..... knowing my weakness) ( ) been robbed (x) robbed someone (sorta) (x) been misunderstood (more then u know) ( ) pet a reindeer/goat (x) won a contest ( ) been suspended from school ( ) had detention (talked my way out of one...hehe) ( ) been in a car accident ( ) had/have braces ( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (if you said box of chocolates...) (x) had deja vu (x) danced in the moonlight (x) hated the way you look (x) witnessed a crime... (yep... trains are dangerous when men with guns jump on and grab passengers) (x) questioned your heart (x) squished barefoot through the mud.. (x) been lost (x) been to the opposite side of the country (x) swam in the ocean (x) felt like dying (x) cried yourself to sleep (x) played cops and robbers (x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers (i luv crayons....) (x) sang karaoke (x) paid for a meal with only coins... (try pennies and nickels.... 4 dollars =D (x) made prank phone calls (x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (x) caught a snowflake on your tongue (x) written a letter to Santa Clause ( ) been kissed under a mistletoe ( ) watched the sun set with someone you care about (x) blown bubbles ( ) made a bonfire on the beach ( ) crashed a party (x) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people (my family calls this "vacation") (x) gone rollerskating/blading... (x) had a wish come true (x) worn pearls (x) jumped off a bridge ( ) screamed "pussy" in class ( ) ate dog food on a dare (x) told a complete stranger you loved them (what? you don't ask ppl you don't know to marry you? you freak!) (x) sang in the shower ( ) made whoppee in a park ( ) had a dream that you married someone (x) glued your hand to something (HAHA yes... but that was the easy part... getting them off was hard!) ( ) got your tongue stuck to a pole ( ) kissed a fish (x) worn the opposite sexes clothes (i look better in them) ( ) been a cheerleader (HELL NO!) (x) sat on a roof top ( ) had sex at a church (x) screamed at the top of your lungs (x) done a one-handed cartwheel ( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours (x) stayed up all night (x) pick and ate an apple right off the tree (x) climbed a tree ( ) had a tree house (x) been scared to watch a scary movie alone (x) believe in ghosts (urm... sometimes) ( ) have/had more then 30 pairs of shoes (x) worn a really ugly outfit to school (what do you call ugly?) ( ) played ding-dong-ditch (x) played chicken (x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on (and dragged them with you) (x) been told you're hella fine by a complete stranger (i'm telling you, ren faires rock!) ( ) broken a bone (do toes count?) (x) been easily amused (x) caught a fish then ate it ( ) made porn (x) caught a butterfly (x) laughed so hard you cried (x) cried so hard you laughed (x) mooned/flashed someone ( waterpolo..... all i'm gunna say) (x) had someone moon/flash you (again, waterpolo) (x) cheated on a test (x) forgotten someone's name (all the time) (x) slept naked (x) french braided someones hair (x) gone skinny dipping (hehehehe) well, that was sorta amusing. danmit.... i have to go back to chem.... i hate finals and fuck... my legs hurt SO bad..... waterpolo dryland.... i can barely walk! Current Mood: sore Current Music: nobody move, nobody gets hurt - we are scientists (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
10:40 pm	danm thing won't let me upload my ninja sign....... grrrrr. well, not much i feel like saying, other then this is bad shit. not this lj oryou or whatever, but my feelings and life atm. i am doing worse in school then i have ever done before, and am really stressed out. paretns are getting pissed b/c of my grades, and i am just really, really tired. inordinately tired. i don't want to do anything, and at the risk of sounding freakishly emo, i don't want to do anything AT ALL, just sleep, or lay on my bed. i think its reminicent of my being sick... and i never caught up with my schoolwork, and if i don't do really well on my finals, i may even have 4 B's..... so not be permitted to go to winter congress, or anything else. i don;t care that finals are here.... i am still dragging my as to teh dickens faire, even if i have to t ake caltrain to bart, take bart into the city, and walk through San Francisco by myself. i am going. if anyone want to come, please do. and if you drive, even better. i went for a walk this afternoon. i had to walk home again, and i decided to turn my 35 minute walk into an hour walk, b/c i wanted to go to the burlingame park. and i was even increasingly saddned when there were little kids at the park so i couldn't swing out the bad essay grade i got... worse then i have gotten since before bonnell. essays are supposed to be my strong thing... well, thats what i thought about science... and look at how i'm doing in chem. i have an A... but after the final.... no way. not with tongs final. so anyway, i wandered around hisbourough/san mateo/burlingame area in the shadows of the trees. yea. i could say more about that walk, but relly, in comparison to many in this world, my life is bliss with superficial problems. mine are almost exculsively in my head, i know i'm messed up..... but hey, thats not entirely my faut, mostly my family. nope, never physical, all emotional/mental. =/ Current Mood: crushed Current Music: engel - rammstein (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 8th, 2005
10:03 pm	sure.... why not well, since the first post was such a dud...... i decided to do another one... hopefully not as stupid as the first... but it is definetly still stupid. well, school is still boring and pointless, some idiots keep pulling the fire alarms, today it went off 4 times, 3 times during 6th period. by the end, we didn't even go outside or really even move. well, i didn't... i was at least half asleep. yep, school is annoying... not enough time for sleep etc. winter polo started again, and i am definetly rusty and out of practice, and it's gunna take a lot of work to get back into shape. *sigh* oh well. at least swim season should start shortly after break, which means that maybe i will accually learn how to swim correctly... not wp style, and so maybe drop to a 54 for the 100 freestyle... well, thats the goal anyway. too bad finals are before break, that means i can't just coast into the holidays..... accualy have to study. bummer. at least this means no studying during the holidays. sadley, family trip to florida for alanna's gym meet..... gunna suck. would rather stay home and hang out wth friends, wel, if they aren't all ging off somewhere anywy. i know sim is prolly going to canada again, and courtney to hawaii..... whatever hapened to us going with her.... hrm. well, thats all for now folks. hopefully more of you will get lj's after reading jens e-mail. oh... and go read friendlyhostility! http://friendlyhostility.com/d/20041015.html *hope that link works, haha* Current Mood: tired Current Music: Rhapsody (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
10:44 pm	stuff hey, this is the first poste.... a guarenteed stupid. And Jen, this is so that we can stay connected, even though far away = ( since you are never online...... haha well, still at san mateo, still playing waterpolo, yea. w/e (1 Comment |Comment on this)